How to Have Genuine Relationships

As children, and often as adults, we create imaginations that are not based on reality. Imagination allows us to escape the current state of an individual, place or thing. This is concerning because then we disassociate ourselves from the truth. In a previous blog, I quoted Tom Bilyeu by stating that we tend to act based on what we believe, and our actions are all that matter; therefore, what we believe is all that matters. If we continue to behave based on utopias and not what is based on reality, our actions will continue to contradict and deny us from what is actually possible. My favorite writer is Mark Manson. In fact, He posted a quote on Instagram about how to get out of your own head that enhanced my perspective. There are 3 parts, but for the sake of time I will address one in this blog. He suggested that we should “Act Out of Curiosity." The goal isn’t to find success or avoid failure, it’s to find out what’s possible. The goal isn’t to make people like you, it’s to learn about who they are. It’s hard to be a nervous wreck when you’re curious.” It is even harder to be anxious when you are inquisitive. Ultimately, Mark is saying that when we encounter new people, or places, be curious and not anxious. How can we all apply this principle? For me, connecting with people were black and white and I've learned to adapt to wherever I am (which can be both positive and negative). Mark’s quote has reframed my approach to new connections. Usually, I am aware of the outcome that I desire. However, to lean into possibilities by learning more about an individual is more promising. It can also be insightful to who we are if we pay attention. Instead of assessing the other person we can be present with ourselves. We can get to know people on a different level and remove the urge to assess whether or not they fit into our idea of what we have planned for our lives. People are not a means to an end. They deserve kindness and sincerity. So, before we approach a new (or current) connection with our goal list, we can take the time to hear them well and approach who they are with a desire to know more. Spoiler alert, the more you allow yourself time to get to know one's character, you may decide that they are not a good fit for you. That is also ok. Every individual we encounter is not supposed to do life with us. However, they still deserve to encounter a quality version of you. Quality enhances with self-awareness. The more you know about yourself, the easier it is to let go of what does not serve you. We know what doesn't serve us because we allow space and time for people to reveal themselves to us instead of rushing a connection based on the idea of what they could be to us and not their reality. It is a concept that will stretch you. It will help you grow, and it will evolve your personal, familial and business relationships.

Always Love,

Cici