Rejection Part II: Self-Awareness

"Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you're going to start crying at inappropriate times." - Mark Manson

Hi guys! I’m back. Every time I sit down to start typing I realize that I am not as consistent as I should be. I even wrote out a plan lol. I’m working on it. Anyways, I wanted to continue the conversation on rejection that I posted a few blogs back. After reading it again, I understand that it was a good blog, and it captured the way that I felt at the time. It even provided practical ways and principles to help you cope with rejection. But it lacked depth. It lacked root analysis. It did not convey the message that mentality is everything. I spoke briefly about renewing our minds with the principle of whosoever will, but I do realize that sometimes we often feel rejected because we aren’t self-aware. Some things that feel and present themselves as rejection are not truly rejection. It was the value we placed there that hurt when it did not work out. We must change the way that we view things. Perspectivism! We must allow situations to inform us to dive deeper into self-awareness and understand that our emotions are signals that implore us to explore the unvisited traumas and triggers that reside within us. Things occur and often we have feelings about how they occur, with whom they occur and when they occur. Each instance can produce a different emotion. What I’ve learned is to ask myself why. Why do I feel this way? This question allows me to think deeper and check my value system. I just finished reading Mark Manson’s Subtle Art of not Giving a #@%! and it challenged me to dig deeper. One of the quotes that stuck with me is when he expressed, “What is objectively true about your situation is not as important as how you come to see the situation, how you choose to measure it and value it. Problems may be inevitable, but the meaning of each problem is not. We get to control what our problems mean based on how we choose to think about them, the standard by which we choose to think about them and how we choose to measure them.” Is your mind blown yet? To rewrite his words, He is basically saying that we choose how much something means to us by the way that we view our issues. I can understand that being looked over for a promotion makes us feel rejected, but why? Should our value as a person be seen through our title? Or is that the way that we are measuring ourselves? What values can you change based on that observation instead of placing ourselves in victim role? Hint - get a new job that values your efforts! We are great when we wake up. I can understand the breakup made us feel rejected. But why? Does the idea of having someone make us feel or look societally? Were we ignoring the red flags? Cuddling potential? Or did we have low self-esteem? We are movements ourselves. What values can we change based on this observation? Be realistic about what is actually going on instead of the fantasy we have created in our heads. We don't live in the Disney channel. People treat us how they treat themselves. Some people are not in a healthy state for themselves where they can honor a great person. Or are we stretching the idea that we're great people. Work on yourself so you can understand how you show up in your relationships. It's not always great. I won’t continue to run down different situations; those were just a couple issues that remain constant. The more we dig deeper into who we are and check our value systems, we will begin to learn and be comfortable with ourselves. It is only then that we can filter out the loudness of society. In the words of Mark Manson, “Understand your emotions, ask yourself why you feel that emotion and why you consider a success/failure.” I want us all to be great, but we won’t fully activate greatness until we operate in who we are. It takes work. A lot of self-work. We will cry. We will notice that we are alone often. Notice I did not say lonely. We will ultimately start to enjoy our own company and the company of people who value us the same way we value ourselves. Good stuff. I will be writing a lot more on the book because it was just that liberating. Lol. Who’s up for a series on how to stop giving a #@%!?

As always,

Love ya - Cici